An Escape from Reality....and the rude awakening that followed

I felt so succumbed to "life" this week, that I need an escape from reality. Albeit, not my best choices for escaping, but I couldn't handle it any longer; or so I thought. Of course, my decisions lead me to not feel so well...and guess what? Reality and life were still here when I returned. 

The drink tasted good and I wanted more, so I continued until the early morning before falling asleep on a friend's couch. I can't deny the fact that I enjoyed myself the entire evening. I was able to relax and just let go. I wish it were that easy when I am sober. However, it feels like I need that "courage" to relax myself. Maybe that's why I continue to return to it? 

This morning came mighty early. Earlier in the week I had made a commitment that I would be in Sunday morning's service. I needed to keep that commitment, there was a little "voice" that kept pestering me about it. I needed to go. Not on time, but I did make it to service. 

First up...COMMUNION. Have you ever felt where you just didn't flat out deserve something? This is totally how I felt when I realized it was communion Sunday. There are many things that we don't deserve when it comes to God. Yet, by His grace, it is given. Pastor kept talking about coming before God and bringing everything you have to Him. Not to mention, drinking until after 2, communion was not something I am sure my stomach was ready for. I decided to go forward and accept communion. I wanted to have the "blood" and "body" of Christ inside of me, not the feelings that I had inside of me. 

Next up....THE MESSAGE. Have you ever sat in a lecture hall, or meeting, or just felt someone just staring right at you when they were talking? Oh my, I felt like the message was directed right at me specifically. The Lord may as well have hit me directly with a 2 X 4 wooden board. The message was on friendship. "Value of Friends - Friends & Enemies and how to tell the difference". He started off by talking about a quote from Charles Swindoll. I copied only part of it, but it stood out to me considering the circumstances...

"...the bar flourishes not because most people are alcoholics, but because God has put into the human heart the desire to know and to be known, to love and the be loved, and so many seek a counterfeit at the price of a few beers..." 

As I stated earlier, I did enjoy myself. I was surrounded by friends, people whom I care about and whom I truly believe care about me. But people meet others in all types of places throughout their lives. When you get together with someone, many people will ask "where you met at". As the message continued, Pastor continued to give what he felt are important characteristics of a "true friend"

1. Real friends help us when we are down. - Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity" In other words, a real friend is with us at all times, not just when it's convenient for them. They come when we call, regardless. I had "this very friend" offer to come and get me at 3:00 AM, not realizing I was with a safe driver. There were no strings attached, no questions asked, etc. I declined it at the time, but I made them aware that they were a true friend to me this morning. 

2. Real friends are a source of comfort in an uncomfortable world. - Ecclesiastes 4:11 "Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?" Although this verse is typically meant for those who are married, it can have other application. Pastor talked about encouraging each other in a time of need. He questioned us "Who's been lifting me up?" Once again, the friend mentioned above has encouraged me recently when I didn't hear things the way I wanted to. Encourages me when I am having a tough day at work, etc. Although "we" don't lie down together, I know I can trust that this friend will work side by side with me pushing me to do my best. 

3. Real friends have your back. - Ecclesiastes 4:12 "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken" I believe this is where we talked about gossip. real friends don't gossip. I stop to think about the above mentioned "friend". He doesn't gossip. He walks away from the drama. That in it of itself shows me a lot. He doesn't want any part of it. Because we have similar work goals, we try to stick together in a lot of work situations. 

4. Real friends are committed to our spiritual growth. -  Proverbs 27:17 "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" I stop to think of my friends who contribute to my spiritual growth. I have several; however, they are not close in distance. I have many that encourage me. I am really not sure where I stand at with this area. This was a "safe" area when I was in college. It was "safe" when I was a on a mission trip. However, I don't have that same circle of friends now. Maybe things would be different?!?!

So, although I am extremely exhausted and feel absolutely nauseous from the alcohol...I am back in reality. I still have bills to pay, I still have limited finances and less than we had anticipated from some earlier work. I know I have people who care about me and that I needed to hear that message this morning, even I wasn't completely sober.